Tolerating My Husband As A New Stay At Home Parent

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I am a stay at home mom, and I also work from home. I have my routine, my schedule, my ways, and it works for me. When my husband was laid off from work this week, I already started bracing myself. And no, I’m not trying to be one of those people cracking jokes about “OMG, we are gong to end up divorced by the end of this.” No, I genuinely don’t know how we will make this work for weeks, if not months.

My husband is an early rising, temperamental, busy body who can’t stand leaving a mess until later, and doesn’t understand how to sit in one place for longer than 15 minutes. While on the other hand, I am a night owl who will wait until my son’s nap time to pick up the disaster zone,  I am easygoing, and need to be on my computer for hours at a time working.

So now, you’re probably thinking that it’s a great combo! He can clean and watch the little guy while I get solid work done, and then we all eat a nice meal and do a puzzle or something, right?

Nah.  It’s day three, and we are already not talking to each other at the moment. 😂

He. Is. Stressing. Me. The. F#%$. Out!

I cannot sit and type something out or read emails without him gasping over the messes our son is making, trying to follow him around cleaning up everything within 2 seconds. He is sighing over the dishes in the sink. He is rolling his eyes while watching me be on my phone posting to social media for work. I feel like I can’t get anything done without feeling like I should be doing something else. I am 100% out of my element with him home.

No, this is not me complaining about my husband (too much at least), but staying home with him is going to be a challenge for both of us- something I’m sure a lot of SAHMs are feeling right now. I chose this man, I love this man, and I am grateful that we are safe and healthy at home. But good lord I can’t wait for him to go back to work- and neither can he. He is already clawing at the door, and I’m ready to give him a ‘lil shove! 😂

At the moment, I think he is enjoying playing Mr. Mom, if you know what I mean. And possible even enjoying rubbing it in my face a bit. Having it all together and doing it all- serving a 4 course healthy breakfast, reading stories at bedtime, making cookies, and doing the dishes without me asking. I should be enjoying this and be THANKFUL, right?

Nah. It’s making my angry, irritated, and even resentful that this isn’t how he has acted all along for the last six years.

He is showing me that there was no reason he couldn’t have made our son scrambled eggs instead of throwing him half of a doughnut, read him a bedtime story, scrubbed a toilet for once, and that there wasn’t a reason for him to ignore me when I ask him to unload a dishwasher.

He is showing me he has been capable all these years, and it is making me sad and angry. I guess I have always given him a free pass, like many women do, because he is the one going out to work everyday, and brings home more money than I do. I’ll apologize as soon as he walks through the door if the house is cluttered or there isn’t dinner. I was guilting myself into these roles, and have made him think all along that it was normal for him to NOT do anything, so now he truly believes he is going above and beyond by doing his fair share.

I am challenging myself and struggling to NOT say thank you or compliment him when he does dishes, vacuums, or gives the baby a bath. Because you know what? He never complimented or thanked me. It’s expected, and maybe I’ve brought that upon myself. But this all changes during quarantine. We are going to work on our partnership, our roles, and our marriage during these next weeks, and we are going to make them last.

Now that you’re Mr. Mom, get ready to play the full part, honey. 😘